The science behind communication has fascinated me for a long time. I have read several books and taken many classes on the subject over the years and would like to share with you some of the most interesting aspects of this important skill that I have found to be very useful.
It is not until you understand the psychology of how humans communicate, whether it is man vs woman, mother vs child, introvert vs extrovert, etc. that you are able to be dynamic with your own communication style. Remember, people are different and one approach does not work for all. I will point you in the direction of a couple of resources that you should be very familiar with.
The first resource I truly believe that you should understand is Transactional Analysis (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transactional_analysis). This was developed in the 1950's by Eric Berne. This concept truly hit me like a ton of bricks. Almost instantly I was able to correlate the concept to recent and past communication interactions in all areas of my life. The theory is based on the ego-states that are present in all of us. Parent, Adult, Child and their own sub categories. The Parent state, which is developed from birth to around 6 years of age contains two types. The first is the critical parent…we all know this type. It is responsible for the Do's and dont's and are associated with survival and protection. The second critical parent type is the Nurturer who is caring and nurturing. The Adult type which develops from the age of 6 onwards is very informational and data driven. The final state is the Child state which also is developed from birth to around the age of 6 years has many sub states. Natural, adaptive, rebellious and the little professor.
There are many sites online with a ton of information about this. Once you put this together it really starts to make a lot of sense.
The second resource is the DISK Behavioral Style system. There are many articles available online about the system and there are several assessment sites out there as well. Google it too. The first step is to understand your style and acknowledge it. From there you have a pretty good challenge in front of you. You need to be able to adapt your style to effectively work with the styles of your team members, leadership and family members. Yes, this stuff is not only about your profession. It also comes in handy in your personal life as well. Here are some of the basics. There are 4 dimensions to the system. First, the "(D)ominant" Style. Dominant styles typically crave power and control. Their emotions tend to be hardened and can often be argumentative risk takers. You see this style most often in management. The second style, "(I)nfluencer" needs to have fun and be popular. They are typically high spirited, optimistic and easy going. You often see this style predominantly in Sales or Marketing roles. The third style, "(S)teady" typically requires peace and stability. They can be quite and stubborn and tend to hide their feeling. This style is a real team player. More often than not, S's can be found in HR, Admin or Customer Service roles. The last style is "(C)autious". they have a strong need for perfection. They are typically unemotional and are very precise and focused. Engineers generally exhibit this behavioral style.
Understand this system, understand what your style is and then determine where the people around you are at. D's are motivated by responsibility and achievement. I's are motivated by recognition. S's are motivated by adequate time and patience. C's are motivated by details and accuracy. Understand these motivations and use them to your advantage as others might be using your style to their advantage.
Obviously there are other communication factors that are important and I will likely dive into some specifics in future posts. The two I listed above were really enlightening to me and I think will be enlightening to you too.
I think it is important to note that one of the best instructors that I have had around these topics is Laura Hyde from the Morgan Training Company (www.morgantraining.com). Please reach out to her if you have any training needs. She is a wonderful teacher and truly knows communication.
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